I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
