You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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