He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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