the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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