Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
dude. I can hear the air.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
