I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
