he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
