Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
