You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
