I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
