I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
