Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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