the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
