Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
