Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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