Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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