we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
