16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
