Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
