so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
