Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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