does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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