I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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