shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
