UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
