I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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