I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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