In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
