NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
