I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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