And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
