yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
