Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
