had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
