420 ftw
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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