i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
