dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
