It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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