he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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