You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
