I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
