This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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