babies were throwing up all over the place
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
