This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
