I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
