..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
