last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
