some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
