Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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