One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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