Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
