My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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