I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
