"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
