Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
