Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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