id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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