Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
