it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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